Follow Me Down - 3oh3! ft Neon Hitch
- Ronald Fisher: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
- Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
- Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?
- Sean Smith: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
- Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck.
- Sean Smith: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
- Ronald Fisher: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
- Sean Smith: Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay?
- Ronald Fisher: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
- Sean Smith: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.
- Donnie Darko: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
- Ronald Fisher: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?
- Karen Pommeroy: This could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era...
- Donnie Darko: Why should we care?
- Karen Pommeroy: Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
- Donnie Darko: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like he was human?
- Karen Pommeroy: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
- Donnie Darko: Of course. The rabbit's not like us. It has no... keen look at something in the mirror, it has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret... I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pommeroy, don't get me wrong; y'know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny, then you're probably happy, in that you don't know who you are and why you're even alive. And you just wanna' have sex, as many times as possible, before you die... I mean, I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit! Y'know, who... who never even feared death to begin with.
Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart, and they both take practice.
10 Things That Piss Me Off
1. People who point at their wrist while
asking for the time. I know where my watch is,
buddy…where the hell is yours? Do I point at
my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
2. People in the supermarket check out line
who wait until their entire bill is rung up
before they begin writing their check.
Hello…is the store name going to change,
or the date, or your signature before the
clerk finishes? Get a clue!
3. People who are willing to get off their
ass to search the entire room for the damn TV
remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
and change it manually!
4. When people say…”Oh, you just want to
have your cake and eat it, too.” Screw that!!!
What good is a damn piece of cake if you can’t
eat it? What should I do…eat someone else’s
piece of cake instead.
5. When people say…”It’s always the last
place you look.” No shit!! Why the hell would
you keep looking for it after you’ve already
found it?? Do people do this?? Who and where
are they??
6. When people say, while watching a movie
..”Did you see that?” No, dumb ass, I paid
to come to a theater and stare at the
ceiling up there. What did you come here for??.
7. People who ask, “Can I ask you a question?”
Didn’t really give me a choice there, did
ya buddy?
8. When something is “New & Improved,” Which
is it? If it’s new, there has never been anything
before it. If it’s an improvement then there must
have been something before it!
9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks
if you know how fast you were going. “You should
know, asshole. You’re the one that pulled me
over!”
Here’s the 10TH thing that really bugs
me….
10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that
by annoying other people with stupid mail with
no meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or
make your long-lost love fall into your arms.
Bullshit! I’m so sure that by breaking a stupid
chain letter that the computer gods are going to
curse me!! What a crock of shit!!!
By the way, if you send this to 10
people, shit won’t happen, and that person you’re
in love with won’t come crawling to you…so if
you feel this is funny, go on and send it to some
one else, but don’t expect one damn thing in return!
Set The Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol
(Dear John Soundtrack)
